ThePanelist.com - China Celebrates Labor Day

China Celebrates Labor Day

Written by Noah Berkowitz

Sunday, 02 September 2007

Citizens of the People's Republic of China are celebrating Labor Day today throughout their country. To mark Labor Day celebrations in China, millions of Chinese people will be working.
Wu Yi, Vice Premier of China, spoke about the Chinese celebration of Labor Day during a public address to the nation. "Basically, every single day in China is Labor Day...Actually, every single day is Labor Day in China. We've been very pleased to find out the American people love Labor Day as much as the Chinese. After discovering our mutual admiration for Labor Day, we have asked Kathie Lee Gifford, the American celebrity, to serve as a consultant on labor relations," stated Yi.

Besides revealing the Chinese government's new relationship with Kathie Lee Gifford, Yi briefly mentioned that today's Labor Day should be much more exciting than yesterday's Labor Day, but not as exciting as tomorrow's planned Labor Day.

The public statement from Vice Premier Yi was not held without controversy. Anti-war activist, Cindy Sheehan, interrupted Yi's speech with an organized protest. Following the recent recall of Chinese toys, which were revealed to contain dangerous amounts of lead, Sheehan vowed to end her retirement from her career as a protester to highlight another global atrocity.

Sheehan's recent campaign against the lack of quality assurance associated with products exported by the Chinese government recruited many activists on college campuses. Unfortunately, many college students were attracted to the misleading campaign slogan, 'Get the Lead Out'. Unaware that many local radio stations celebrate the rock band, Led Zeppelin with a segment titled 'Get the Led Out', Sheehan was overwhelmed by the support she received on college campuses. Upon taking a group of 'Get the Lead Out' supporters to China, Sheehan realized her error when fellow activists interrupted Vice Premier Yi with repeated requests for the song ‘Stairway to Heaven’.

Disclosure: I do not own any pieces of China because I love freedom too much. I do own a small piece of Kathie Lee Gifford.

Noah is the author of Noah Lot More, a satirical blog providing tens of people with instant intelligence. To Noah Lot More than you currently know, check out his site at: http://noahlotmore.blogspot.com

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written by China Tattler , September 11, 2007

Your article is flawed in so many respects and shows a total ignorance of China based upon your myopic political ideology and brainwashing.

Even as a poor attempt at Satire, it fails miserably.

First:

Labor Day is Celebrated on May 1st in China, not in September as in the US and Canada.

Second:

During the WEEK LONG MAY DAY HOLIDAY in China, the majority of Chinese Workers recieve anywhere from three to four days off...not the measly one afforded to North American Workers.

Third:

Nobody in China knows who Kathie Lee Gifford is, and more importantly nobody gives a damn here about useless American celebs.

This kind of crap is nothing but Racist Bile.

Stop peddling your RACIST nonsense.

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written by Noah Berkowitz , September 11, 2007

While I appreciate your attempt to make points using capital letters, I am aware that China celebrates a week long Labor holiday in May. This piece had more to do with the working conditions in China, which is why the posting notes that every day is Labor Day in China.

From coal mines to manufacturing toys, there is significant documentation suggesting the Chinese government still has a long way to go to improve both quality assurance of the products produced in China and the working conditions of its employees.

Personally, I find it difficult to find the racism in the above paragraph, but perhaps I missed a capital letter.

Lastly, I'm shocked over your emotions towards Kathie Lee Gifford. Clearly, you missed her 1996 special, 'Kathie Lee Gifford: Just in Time for Christmas'. With such strong emotions towards Kathie Lee, I just have to ask...Is this Regis?

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written by Dean , May 22, 2008

Loved the post. Loved the response to comment.

Keep writing.

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		Noah Berkowitz spent much of his adult life aspiring to be a hieroglyphicist. Despite his strong ambition, he is only capable of drawing stick figures.
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